- by Victoria Feinerman
May this room never know sneezing,
In this studio, no wheezing,
Laryngitis,
Sinusitis,
Though outside it's cold and freezing.
If you have nasal congestion
Or a horrid throat infection,
Do not cough,
Please back off
In the opposite direction.
If a river's swiftly flowing
From your nose, you should be going.
Oh, I wish you
Had a tissue
And into it you were blowing.
Yep, your voice is sounding coarse.
And your throat is feeling hoarse.
Every cough
Ticks me off
Don't you feel some slight remorse?
Because if you make me ill,
Make me catch a nasty chill,
So I'm weak
And can’t speak,
Then my earnings will be nil.
So I ban you from this place,
From sniffle-snuffling in my face.
Don't be a jerk,
Let me work,
See? I'm getting out the mace!
Now I'll chase you out the door –
You'll contaminate no more!
And I'm tearing out my hair
Screaming how life isn’t fair.
And I shake my fist, defiant
At the… What’s that? You're a CLIENT?!…
Well now…
Anyhow…
Come pull up a chair!
Article by Victoria Feinerman
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